Flash in the pan

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The Doctor asked me to sit down and pull up the leg of my knee. I knew this was going to happen, yet I still wore those pants to the appointment.

They were tighter around the legs than I would have liked for this situation which I quickly found out as I started to pull them up.

He looked over his desk and noticed. “I think you may have to pull them down”, he said.

“Oh, yes, of course.” I said apologetically.

He returned to his computer screen and seem distracted while I unbuttoned and then pulled them down to my ankles. I then unraveled the bandage that covered my recently operated knee. Two dark blood spots that had been brewing for a few days, appeared and breathed for the first time since my shower this morning. They were behind semi opaque bandages.

The operation had been to remove a bit of floating cartilage that was causing discomfit in my knee for the last six months.
“Come over here, Joe”, said the Doctor, “I just want to show you this”.

I looked down at my pants dangling all the way down at the floor. I looked over the desk. “You’ve got to be joking” I thought.

“Come on, I have some pictures of your knee taken during the operation.”

Okay, that’s sounds good. But How? Do I pull up my pants and button? Do I pull up and hang on to them? Do I remove them? (I’d have to take off my shoes to do that.) Do I just … And that’s what I did.

I stood up and waddled over, pants around my ankle, looking over my Doctor’s shoulder. That’s right, I couldn’t think of a more unnatural thing to do in any office setting.

Of course, the Nurse walked in during this. She summed up the situation, saw the expression of “seriously, nothing is happening here, you have to believe me” on my face and just kept doing what she came in to do and left.

This is what happens in Doctors’ rooms. Anything and everything.

You could walk around with a watermelon on your head and everyone would just keep going on as before.

I went back and sat down. I believe I didn’t hear a word he said. Something about all went well etc etc. May have to see you again in 10 year’s time, whatever.

He came over, ripped the bandage from the wounds while I cringed like a baby. Said “Fantastic, and Good Luck.” Shook my hand and that was it.

“Thank you, Doctor,” I said. And as I turned and walked away, I made triple sure the fly on my pants was pulled up. Of course, the Nurse noticed, but said or showed no recognition. I could have had a watermelon on my head.